just how Did You recognize What ns Was Thinking?

change a person's mind prior to they say, "No."

posted September 30, 2012




You are watching: What does it mean to purse your lips

How go You understand What i Was Thinking?

No one can read minds, however they deserve to come close by observing nonverbal displays. Part nonverbal cues are an ext obvious than others. The noticeable cues are easier for observers come read and interpret. Likewise, apparent cues are simpler for speaker to control, thus camouflaging your true thoughts. Ethereal nonverbal cues room harder to control and reveal much more intimate information. One of these subtle cues is the lip purse.


Lip Purse

A lip purse display screen is a slight, virtually imperceptible, puckering or rounding of the lips. This gesture signal dissension or disagreement. The an ext pronounced the lip purse, the much more intense is the dissension or disagreement. Pursed lips average the human has formed a assumed in your mind that is in opposition come what is being said or done. Learning what a human thinks gives you one advantage. The cheat is to change their mind prior to they have actually an possibility articulate your opposition. Once an opinion or decision is expressed out loud, transforming a who mind i do not care more an overwhelming due to the emotional principle of consistency. Decision-making causes tension to some degree. Once a person makes a decision, stress dissipates. They are much less likely to change their mind due to the fact that to execute so would typical admitting their an initial decision was a negative one, therefore causing tension. Maintaining an articulated position reasons less stress and anxiety than going v the decision-making process again no matter just how persuasive the debates for change may be. In other words, when civilization say something, they tend to remain constant with what lock said.


The next time you present a job or proposition to her supervisor, watch because that the lip purse display. If your supervisor purses his or she lips throughout your presentation, you recognize that he or she has already formed a assumed in opposition to her proposal. As soon as you check out a lip purse, you have to attempt to adjust your supervisor’s mind prior to he or she vocalizes opposition. Empathic statements are ideal for this purpose. Try: “So, you don’t think what ns am speak makes much sense. Allow me walk over a couple of things the will display you the what ns am proposing is the finest course that action.” You recognize your supervisor’s doubt and also present counter debates to readjust his or she mind prior to the an adverse thought is voiced. Observing for lip purses is also useful once talking through your spouse, colleagues, and friends.


I watch because that lip purses during my lectures. If a participant purses your lips, I usage an empathic statement to discover what the nature the the opposition is come what ns am saying. Because that example, “You’re having trouble v this concept.” when I usage this technique, participants frequently remark, “How go you understand what ns was thinking?




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John R. "Jack" Schafer, Ph.D., is a behavior analyst because that the FBI, and also is the author of The choose Switch: an Ex-FBI Agent"s overview to Influencing, Attracting, and also Winning human being Over.