Medically the evaluation by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST — composed by Maria Cohut, Ph.D. On august 22, 2019

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Losing your virginity is a distinct experience. It have the right to be hard to know just what to expect. What will certainly it feeling like, when should you carry out it, and how can you remain safe during your an initial time?


The indigenous “virginity” and also “sex” mean various things to different people, regardless of even if it is they have sex with civilization of the very same or different genders. Whatever definition people use, many feel anxious around having sex because that the an initial time.

This worry is entirely normal, however rumors and also myths that circulate among friends and also on the internet can create unnecessary fears. Knowledge what could happen during and also after sex can assist ease any type of worries.

In this article, we look in ~ what might happen — both physically and emotionally — once a human being loses their virginity. We also tackle some common myths about virginity and sex and talk about how human being can prepare for their an initial time having actually sex.


What is virginity, and what is sex?

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Share on PinterestA human being may ease fears about losing your virginity through learning an ext about what wake up during and after sex.
Defining virginity is not straightforward — sex and also virginity deserve to mean plenty of different points to various individuals.

When people say “virgin,” they frequently mean a human being who has not had actually penetrative, penis-in-vagina sex with one more person. However, this is simply one that many feasible definitions.

Not all civilization have penis-in-vagina intercourse. Because that them and for others, virginity loss may refer to their first time with oral sex, anal sex, or sex making use of fingers or toys. Some civilization feel that they have actually lost your virginity multiple times, through having different kinds that sex.

Notions that virginity and also sexual activity also differ among cultures.


What happens to the body throughout sex?

People usually notice physical alters during sex-related activity. Several of these are the exact same for males and females, if other alters differ.

Sex feels an excellent because that both mental and also physical factors. The brain releases hormones that support sexual pleasure, and also there space thousands that nerve endings in the vul that deserve to feel great when stimulated. Learn an ext about why sex is pleasurable here.

Before and also during sex, the body releases hormones. These increase the lot of liquid in the vagina or stimulate the cock to end up being erect. A person may also feel their heart rate quicken and their body become more sensitive during sex.


Does the hurt as soon as you shed your virginity?

Sexual contact may feel strange at first because that is one unfamiliar sensation. That said, sex — including the very first time — must not it is in painful.

To protect against discomfort, be sure to openly interact with your partner before and also during sex, telling them what does and also does not work for you. If sex is painful, tell your partner and also stop or try something different.

To maximize pleasure and also minimize the opportunity of discomfort, invest a most time top top foreplay. This have the right to mean kissing, caressing, teasing, or exploring. Foreplay will enhance arousal and prime you and also your companion for one even much more enjoyable experience.

But also though foreplay and also a state the arousal can assist the vagina and also penis self-lubricate, people may still require to add lubricant to avoid uncomfortable friction.

Adding lube is a must throughout anal sex, together the rectum go not develop its own lubrication.

Psychologist and sex educator Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., states that lubricant — even if it is water-based or silicone-based — should be a bedside staple for anyone that is sexually active.

In her book, Come together You Are, Nagoski describes that lubricant helps mitigate friction and also increase pleasure. It also decreases the risk of any tearing and pain.

Lube rises efficacy and also makes them an ext pleasurable. Lube is her friend. Lube will make her sex life better.

Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.

A wide variety of lubricants carry out different textures, sensations, and flavors. A human being can find these at drugstores or pick between types online.


One the the biggest myths around first-time quality sex is that a female’s hymen — a thin, elastic membrane that lines the opened of the vagina — will break, bring about bleeding and also pain. World sometimes speak to this “popping the cherry.”

The hymen comes in countless shapes and types, and some civilization are born without a hymen.

During sex, the hymen deserve to tear and also cause minor bleeding. This is an ext likely to happen if the hymen is much less elastic, such as during adolescence, or if it has actually a smaller sized opening. This bleeding is commonly minimal.

However, the hymen may not tear throughout sex. It is flexible and also does not commonly cover the whole vaginal opening. If it did, term blood and other species of vaginal discharge would have no way of leaving the body.

In numerous cases, a person’s hymen has torn before they have actually sex. Some strenuous activities, such together sports, can cause minor tears in the hymen.

Some people believe that a broken hymen is an irreversible sign of virginity loss. However, that is difficult to tell whether a person has had sex just by assessing their hymen. This is since the hymen is normally open in most cases and because that is shape and also size vary from human being to person.

The authors of a paper published in the journal Reproductive Health in 2019 say the healthcare specialists should never ever rely on physics examinations that the hymen to assess whether a person has become sexually active.


Some human being are worried the the frenulum — which is the brief band of organization that connect the foreskin to the head of one uncircumcised prick — have the right to tear throughout first-time penetration. This is sometimes called “snapping the banjo string.”

This part of the cock is fragile. A human may tear it after having had sex plenty of times or never — the frenulum deserve to tear during nonsexual activities, such as riding a bike.

A take it frenulum can be painful and also cause a little amount of bleeding, yet this injury will heal ~ above its own, just like any other minor cut or tear.

If this happens, just carefully wash the area and gently pat it dry with a clean towel. Avoid activities that could reason the wound to open up again till it has actually healed.


People deserve to feel a lot of pressure to have sex if they believe that over there is a “right age,” or if they feel choose everyone rather is act it. However, many world take your time in deciding when — or even if — they desire to come to be sexually active.

The many recent data, gathered in 2017, from the Centers for condition Control and Prevention (CDC) present that 47.8% of high school students in the joined States had never had any kind of sex-related contact.

So if you are worried around not having had sex — nothing be! there is no real right or wrong time to come to be sexually active. The right time is when it feels ideal for friend — that is, once you feel an enthusiastic desire to check out that part of yourself.

If you never feel an advice to start having sex, it is absolutely fine, too. And if you feel like starting your sex life, but then decision you want to abstain from one, several, or all types of sexual activity for a when — or forever — that is also normal.


Yes. Every time a person has actually sexual call without using barrier contraception — such as condoms — over there is a chance they can build a sexuallytransfer epidemic (STI). This includes their first time.

However, if neither human being has had actually sexual call with anyone else before, neither human will have an STI.

Some STIs produce no symptoms, for this reason a human being may not understand if they have actually one. To it is in sure, anyone who has had actually unprotected sex-related contact before — consisting of oral sex or anal sex — should have actually a sexual health and wellness screening.

When it comes to avoiding STIs, the best choices involve physical barriers, such together female or masculine condoms, or dental dams for oral sex.

People can get prophylactics from their medical care provider or drugstores, or castle can select between species online. Many brands are safe come use.

Learn about the most safe condoms and also tips for their use here, and also learn exactly how to select the right condom dimension here.

According to the American Sexual wellness Association, 1 in 2 sexually active people will get an STI by age 25, and also around fifty percent of STIs affect people aged 15–24.

The most usual STIs include:

Learn about the most common STIs and also how to recognize them here.


Consent means that every person affiliated in sexual task has agreed to take part in it.

If one companion is unsure even if it is they would choose to have actually sex, or if they adjust their mind throughout sex, they have to feel able come express this and also to stop without any repercussions.

For an exciting first-time experience, partners need to feel safe, both emotionally and physically. If you feel pressured right into doing much more than friend want, that is not going to result in safe, exciting sex.

If you space being coerced into having sex, call this to someone you trust. Civilization based in the U.S. Can contact the Rape, Abuse, and Incest nationwide Network hotlines, and this form of company is available in numerous other countries.


People occasionally feel that losing their virginity will be a life-changing experience. Every person’s experience is different — some may feel happy, emotional, relieved, anxious, or lock may have actually no details emotional response.

There is no right or wrong reaction to having actually sex because that the first time. How you feel might depend on the expectations the you had beforehand or on her personality, because that example.

Some civilization feel that having actually sex alters their relationship. The readjust can take it on countless forms and this is normal, too.

Some world feel overwhelmed during or ~ sex. Remember the one sex-related experience is just that — a solitary experience as part of a higher context, and also it go not need to shape your identity or life course.

Future sex-related experiences will all be different, relying on your growing experience of her body and sexual needs.


Losing your virginity walk not must be a stressful event.

Understanding what to expect and also what could happen can help a human prepare, both physically and also emotionally, for shedding their virginity in any way that is right for them.

People decide to end up being sexually energetic at various ages, and also some people never feel the urge. If who does decision to have sexual contact, no clearly shows physical alters can make a human stand out as sexually active.

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Finally, when having sex — because that the very first time or any type of time — consent is crucial. Also, communicate about what feels pleasurable and also use adequate defense to avoid unwanted pregnancy and STIs.