DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend told me he doesn’t own a suit or dress shoes because he has never required them.

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Harriette Cole

I expect this makes sense in theory, yet I just can’t recognize why a grown guy wouldn’t own any kind of formal clothing. Even my 15-year-old brothers owns a suit.

Is this a red flag?

buy a Suit


DEAR buy A SUIT: quite than reasoning of this as a red flag, recognize it together a lack of exposure. This claims to me that, up till now, your boyfriend has actually not gone anywhere that has forced formal attire.

For numerous people, formal dress is introduced beforehand when attending spiritual services. This days, though, many spiritual homes permit people to dress informally, so even if that did walk to a spirituality service, a suit may not have actually been a requirement.

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What you deserve to do is learn about your boyfriend’s upbringing and also his world. What has actually been important to him and also his family? What has actually he to be exposed to? What is that interested in? likewise talk to him around your life and also what you discover important.

As you get to know each other better, speak to him about where you desire to go and also what you want to do, together with your knowledge of exactly how you should current yourself in these various circumstances. In that context, allow him know where a suit, tie and dress pair of shoes are required or preferred. The variety of methods is broad, by the means — from a officially restaurant come a skilled office to a public organization’s yearly gala come a society organization’s annual meeting, and also plenty in between.

If you open up your boyfriend’s eyes to these avenues without evaluate him, girlfriend will uncover whether the is interested in participating and also dressing the part.


DEAR HARRIETTE: A great friend the mine recently ended up being a mother, and I couldn’t it is in happier for her. I love security time v her and her brand-new baby; it’s beautiful to see this new side that her.

I have no difficulty listening to she talk about her baby and how in love she is through being a mom, however these work that’s really all she talks about. I absolutely don’t desire to tell her to avoid talking about her kid so much, yet I don’t think she hears herself.

Sometimes I just want to have actually girl time and not mommy time. What must I do?

Too Much mother Talk

DEAR too MUCH mom TALK: If the infant is still really young, it might be tough for her friend to separate her friend thoughts from baby thoughts. Over time, that becomes simpler for brand-new moms to ease up and also think around themselves and their friend more.

That said, you have the right to tell her friend that you miss being maybe to speak to her about friend stuff. Invite her for a girls’ night out if she deserve to have someone rather watch her child. Throughout that activity, encourage she to talk about other things and to listen to what you are going through. What might be most basic for her at first is to be an attentive listener. She may not have much else to contribute in the beginning because her human being has to be consumed by she child. If she have the right to lean in, listen and also chime in come respond to your life, that may be sufficient for now.

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Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and also founder the DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to aid people access and activate your dreams. You have the right to send concerns to askharriette
harriettecole.com or c/o andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.